Listen to Courtney’s Story

Courtney Commander 

Hello. My name is Courtney Commander. And the photo pictured here is the day after August 12th, August 13th, possibly 26 hours after the original attack. Myself and some other friends of Heather Heyer are visiting the exact spot that we were ran over. So this was very traumatic and devastating and I remember feeling extremely anxious and fearful and sadness. The whole time we were there, I really could just not stop crying and just reliving the moment prior to that. So it was just a very hard time for me and for friends of mine that were there. There were a lot of news outlets and everything, and at that moment, personally, I was not ready or able to speak with any of them or be on any cameras or anything like that. So I recall some good friends of mine trying to be sort of like a liaison for us. Will Jones, he definitely made sure that anyone that we didn't want to speak to did not approach us in any way. So we had our space and chance to grieve at that moment. You know, shortly after this, I was receiving therapy and I don't even think that I was able to get a good night's sleep until nine months or so after this date. So I'm very grateful for I am today. But I do remember feeling extreme fear, being back at this place, not knowing what to expect, not knowing who to expect, but nonetheless, amongst all those feelings, when I think back to that moment, there was so much love there. The community had come out in support of everyone who had been there the day previous, and just being there to show love and support I think was very powerful. This photo shows some of my closest friends just embracing me and embracing each other and just trying to, you know, hold each other up at that moment of extreme, extreme sadness and fearfulness and literally the worst moments of my life.

Music credit: Current Clouds / Oceanic / courtesy of www.epidemicsound.com